Monday, September 12, 2005

So I don't know exactly what the point to these things are, but what the hey might as well jump on board

what should I tell you

I am reasonably intelligent, tall, witty and mostly articulate. And the thing that leaves me with time to write on this board I am a modern day leper, I am obese. People would laugh at me and point except for that tall thing, I am also 6'6". I call myself the worlds smallest giant. LOL Because I may be obese but I am not one of those rolly polly fellows. If I was a football player no one would bat an eye, infact my size would be celebrated

I haven't always been obese but I was always big, when I was 25 I was only 330 pounds which to you sounds like a lot. But in retrospect I carried it well, because I have very broad shoulders and the height thing balanced it out. But poor self esteem left me at home alone drinking far too much beer and before you know it I am obese. The funny thing about obesity is it kind of sneaks up on you, sure you're moderately heavy a "big guy", you never notice as year after year you add a little bit and a little bit. An obese person doesn't want to know their weight and so they never check and that wee bit if a gut becomes a load. So one day you get curious and check your weight and find it disconcerting.

For those who are going to say "get your fat ass on a diet", its not that simple. You see the problem when you are obese and you go on a diet even though the scale tells you the pounds are coming off the difference is a lot harder to see in your body and it is very disheartening. So one day you're feeling a little blue and you binge eat. You know you shouldn't, truth is most of the time you don't even want to, its just what you do and hey you're already a fat ass so whats it going to hurt. Its a cruel and vicious cycle.

Food was never my problem, I wasn't a huge eater, my problem was beer. Alcohol to dull the pain of being alone, beer is nothing but liquid calories, it has more calories per ounce then cola.

Don't feel entirely bad for me. I have someone in my life now, she is intelligent and perfect and tiny. What the hell is she doing with me I will never know, NOOO it is not money in the 2 years I have known her she has never asked me for a penny nor have I given her one. She is 5'3" and wouldn't be 100 pounds if she was carrying a 1 pound weight in each hand. Like I said I am 6'6" and well more than 400 pounds. I can only imagine what it looks like to people when we go walking down the street, she barely comes past my elbow

Any ways that's my whiny bitch story

This board has a delete feature doesn't it


Blogger Christine said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog.
People who have fast metabolisms find it very easy to say "just stop eating so much". It isn't just about the eating. It is about the poor habits that have become a lifestyle and it is very hard to change. I think you have a great idea for a continuing blog here. I don't think it has been done (or I haven't seen it). You write well so might want to use your talent to vent. Believe me, it feels great.

4:36 a.m.  
Blogger razorbeck said...

thank you Christine I appreciate your comments

6:05 p.m.  

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