Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Okay sorry for the confusion but its not my birthday, My birthday is in September and since they now start with ffff's we need never speak of this again.

That was supposed to represent an old depressed fart(me) having a party, A customer has agreed to hand deliver a cheque for 1.3 million dollars to me today which will ease my cash flow problems a certain amount. Now if he would only pay the other 2.2 it really would be a PARTY.

Now onto new business

Chris has inspired me to post about the fabulous world of being the boss, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Sure the perks and the salary are nice but the responsibilities and stress some times make you question the worth of it all. And of course the employees can be the biggest stress of them all, well after cash flow.

Business wise we had an exceptional year last year with our highest sales and best profit margin ever. But that lead me to having to hire 103 new people in 2008 alone. Don't get me wrong I didn't create 103 new positions I just rotated that many through the roster. We peaked out at 85 total and believe me that was enough.

But lets look at some of the greatest hits

Theres the guy who didn't like being spoken to harshly by the site supervisor so he walked the 10 miles back to the hotel got drunk off his ass crazy and tore up the hotel and private vehicles to the tune of about 8 grand was arrested and posted out of town by the RCMP. He was put on the bus and told never come back except for his court date. He actually phoned up a week later and asked if he still had a job!

I ended up replacing my whole office staff, except for me unfortunately. My head book keeper of 7 years quit with 1 weeks notice, the bitch. Her replacement even though I kept asking her if she needed help and if she was keeping up and was reassured she was, we found hundreds of thousands of unbilled work orders hidden around the office after she quit.

The guy that was dating my head book keeper and who I was working at finding a way to fire him with out pissing her off who quit because one of my supervisors said something mean to him, poor didums.

The 14 guys I hired and who never actually ever showed up, by the way they aren't in the 103 total

The ones who are desperate for money, would do anything for money except show up on a Saturday or overtime

We have a clean shaven policy because of the possibility of needing a rescue respirator, you would be surprised how many men value a goatee over a job

By the way I say men because other than office staff my crew is almost entirely male, we are not sexist but 99.9% of applicants are men and the few women we have hired don't stick it out. So no fair employment complaints against me

One guy quit because he had to share a hotel room, there weren't enough rooms in the small town so they had to double up.

The supposedly trained professional secretary who couldn't even file because she didn't know her alphabet.

Oh well back to my day job

Hope you all have a good day


Blogger Christine said...

Well,,happy unbirthday in that case. Totally buying that you were a Taurus. Virgo? Don't see it. really is hard to get good help. I am of the mind set that if I find someone good..I make sure I do everything possible to keep them. The average employee in my company has worked for me for six year. We still have people that started with us 13 years ago when we first opened.

I usually get rid of people that push within the first 90 days. (In the US you can fire someone without cause and not pay unemployment during that initial period..I don't know how Canada handles these things). That last bitch I blogged about squeezed past on April 6. Damn. You know as well as I do though that there are ways to make a person quit. Since she obviously has so much free time, she doesn't need so many hours.etc.

6:20 a.m.  

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