Monday, March 15, 2010


Okay let me preface this, this is not a cry for help or an indication of intent

I am 41 soon enough to be 42 and I have worked for the same place for 25 years, I have accomplished everything I can. I have no wife or kids. I have nothing left to do with my life and plenty of time to do it.

Does any one else contemplate just ending it all not out of despair or fear of failure but out of boredom? I am having a hard time finding motivation to do anything because it will just be a repeat of something I have done before.

I need a major change in my life but I am stuck here looking after my mother, father, sister and brother. Keeping the business going despite them. So they can eat and vacation and pay their mortgages.

I think if I could I would go be a long distance trucker and just spend some time spinning miles onto a truck, no responsibilities except making sure the load got where it was going in the time allotted.

Funny thing is if I had a choice I would jump off a very high building or mountain because I think the few seconds of absolute free fall would be the most exhilarating experience of my life. I guess its a good thing I live on the flat flat prairies where the tallest building is 7 stories high

Ennui is tha fancy term for what I have I think but boredom covers it

4 Comments:

Blogger Christine said...

Your first obligation is to yourself. Fuck um, take off and go. Life is short and you're half way done with it dude.

7:30 AM  
Blogger Christine said...

Waiting for the "I feel much better now" post.

8:38 AM  
Blogger bohica said...

You should consider bungee jumping or base jumping; get the same feeling of absolute free fall without that sudden and fatal stop at the end (hopefully).

7:16 PM  
Anonymous sex stories true said...

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Alice was livid. That worked, but her last words were spoken over histongue and the very last was cut off by the tongue invading her mouth sofirmly and fully that she couldnt turn back, pull off, or disengage whatbecame the most intense soul kiss of her life.

7:01 AM  

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