Wednesday, January 18, 2006

razors back

its another night of not hearing from the Irish chick, I think she sometimes just does this to make me crazy. More likely she is angry because I showed her the link to this blog and she probably wasn't fond of reading everything I wrote.

she is like so many people on here they assume everything that has gone wrong in their lives is their fault and they deserve the consequences whatever they are. Even with me she has said she has done nothing but make my life worse. But she is dead wrong, since I met her I don't drink any where near as much, even with visiting her I have more money in the bank then the day I met her and I smile a whole lot more. I can even be pleasant if I really tried lol. Before her I struggled to get out of bed, now I fairly leap from bed to see if she has left me something to read.

I no do good words lol. Its hard for me to tell you how much better she has made my life, and even if this is a parting of the ways I will always look back with a smile. She will always be a pleasant memory to me but to be honest the thing I want most is more memories. I want to run my finger down her smooth cheek, I want to hold her in my arms, I want to hear her laugh at some stupid thing I have said and more than anything I want to see her over the top of her glasses as she tries to decide if I am nuts or not. So far I think its mostly been nots lol.

when we were walking she had to slow down for me, even though my legs are much longer than hers she tends to walk much faster and she seems perennially in a rush, where as I am sure the world will still be there when I get there so unless I am late for an appointment I tend to amble along. I guess I have mostly been focusing on the differences between us maybe I should tell you of some of the similarities.

we both wear glasses, we both have blue eyes and we both are shy. But that's just a wee bit of the picture. We are both smart, though judging by the on line IQ test she is smarter than I and I am okay with that. We are both stubborn to the point of obstinacy. We are both quiet, she talks less than I do, which is starting to be a problem because I have run out of stories lol. We both like coffee and coke and toast and cheese lol.

I miss her

I wish things could be like in the beginning, but our relationship has matured I am not sure we have and that's where the conflict comes into the relationship.

anyways I guess I have said enough

2 Comments:

Blogger friendsloveatalltimes said...

No relationship ever stays like it was in the beginning. When everything is new and exciting and fun--that's where I am with the EX and I am fully aware of that fleeting fact. But, you still have to keep her guessing. Really I would say that you may be experiencing the "fizzle". Surprise her somehow with something SHE likes. If she is still not responsive, move on. Don't drag yourself down with this. Men tend to do that when things are not going the way they think it should. You never know, maybe nothing is wrong, she's just busy, and missing you too. Oh, and by the way, don't butt out, OK (unless you are just really, really frustrated with me)? You seem to give me really good advice, like you have seen this or been this way before. Everytime I think I know what I am going to do next, you change my mind by saying the things that the EX and my friend are thinking but not wanting to say and influence my decisions. The EX really likes your comments and he says the exact same things sometimes--like the whole "sucker" thing. But, he does have a motive here. He has obviously cared for me for a long time...and he is dying to have another chance. I don't know you personally and you have no motives with me. So, you really bring things home with your comments...thanks.

8:12 AM  
Blogger Christine said...

Being in similar shoes, I am well aware that the long distance thing is very difficult. Sometimes while trying to type an email or send a message, the meanings get misinterpreted when a mere look or voice inflection would make the meaning alot clearer.
When it is over, it is over and you two will decide that. I hope if it is, it is as little on pain as possible.

Chris

3:06 PM  

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