Sunday, August 27, 2006

I see the darkness o'er run my eyes
there is nothing for me here
it never was close to near
the blackness is what I cry

for every bit of happiness I found
into the dirt I was ground
before I knew her love
my heart didn't move
I was to die unloved and alone
nothing left but dust and bone

but she had to open my heart
to make me love to make me start
to show me that there was more to life
and fill it with love, then fill it with strife
in truth I will never complain
she filled me with love and equal parts pain
but she showed what it is to be alive
and maybe to this end again I will strive
but not for now I need to be alone
to close my heart to turn to stone


Anonymous Christine said...

I really hate your relationship with the Irish Chick. Your roller coaster of emotions make me dizzy. I can only imagine what you feel. Hey if some of it is good, it is up to you what is worth it. Seems to be that you are being a bit used to boast anothers confidence in herself but what the fuck do I know?

4:47 p.m.  
Blogger razorbeck said...

no chris i would disagree she does not use me to increase her self confidence.

i used to think she used to wind me up to see if sufficiently provoked i would turn into a violent asshole. dont get me wrong i have an inner asshole and god knows she seen it but honestly there isnt a violent bone in my body. and after all this time i assume she knows this so it cant be the reason.

now i am of the opinion that she requires a certain amount of conflict in her life and when we are getting along she has to fuck it up. do not get me wrong she doesnt do it alone i certainly play my part but i am beginning to see that she knows how and where to push my buttons until i pick the fight. it is almost like she cant stand being happy so when we are happy friendly and flirty she has to set me off until i pick the fight and then every thing is right in her world.

it is begining to be too much, why when we are happy she has to ignore me and wind me up i do not know. but i do know i want to be happy and i am tired of feeling second best. why if she is mine cant she just be happy

6:56 p.m.  
Anonymous Christine said...

That is sad.
I wish I had a man half as willing to make a life with me that included relocating and thinking I am worth it but alas...some gals don't know how lucky they are.

9:31 a.m.  

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