Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Five things that make me happy

A cold northern lake at dawn, the water is flat as glass and nothing but the birds are moving. I push out from shore in a boat not even starting the motor and I quietly fish. for a brief period of time its like having the whole world to yourself

Chicks & Beer: Chicks when they aren't driving me crazy.Beer when I don't over indulge

My niece and my nephew because I am just their old uncle Sean

Driving when the cops aren't around and you can zip around corners and speed over hills.

A warm fall day with a brilliant sunset on the prairies where the sky is truly open and you can see for miles and miles

Sorry I am not doing the whole cut and paste thing Chris, if you can be lazy so can I

Monday, March 15, 2010

Okay let me preface this, this is not a cry for help or an indication of intent

I am 41 soon enough to be 42 and I have worked for the same place for 25 years, I have accomplished everything I can. I have no wife or kids. I have nothing left to do with my life and plenty of time to do it.

Does any one else contemplate just ending it all not out of despair or fear of failure but out of boredom? I am having a hard time finding motivation to do anything because it will just be a repeat of something I have done before.

I need a major change in my life but I am stuck here looking after my mother, father, sister and brother. Keeping the business going despite them. So they can eat and vacation and pay their mortgages.

I think if I could I would go be a long distance trucker and just spend some time spinning miles onto a truck, no responsibilities except making sure the load got where it was going in the time allotted.

Funny thing is if I had a choice I would jump off a very high building or mountain because I think the few seconds of absolute free fall would be the most exhilarating experience of my life. I guess its a good thing I live on the flat flat prairies where the tallest building is 7 stories high

Ennui is tha fancy term for what I have I think but boredom covers it