Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Here we go my very own meme

Show us your pictures of the bottom of your cars or hot tubs or whatever in their unatural positions.

Extra marks for creativity and uniqueness.

When you post make sure you tell me, no point posting if you are'nt sharing!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Does anybody but me miss the confidence of youth?

When I was 20 I was indestructible and unstoppable. I was 6'6, 300 pounds of muscle, longish thick hair and money like nobody's business(not really but I didn't have any payments). I knew absolutely everything , just ask me! I could do anything, just dare me. If I knew as much now as I did then I could make Bill Gates look like a pauper LOL

I remember once when I was 20 I did what now is something I would never ask anybody else to do.

it was mid December about -20 with a 30 mile an hour wind, it was probably the equivalent of -50. We needed a road plowed into a gravel pit but there was already a Caterpillar sitting there. So mister indestructible that I am I walked a mile across a wide open and treeless prairie field. I had to hike into my favourite cat get it started and plow myself a road out of the pit. The stupid bit was it hadn't been running in weeks and there was no guarantee that it would start even then. But it was my pet caterpillar I knew deep in my heart that it would start but that it would only start under my personal touch. See the confidence(stupidity) of youth. That was one of the longest coldest walks I ever took because if I was wrong I had to walk back and frankly by the time I got there I wasn't entirely sure I would have made it. I made it into my cat and started the procedure to get it started, it didn't sound good the starter was turning over the engine slow and it wasn't really firing, I can honestly say I was worried. As the minutes passed I was getting scared, so I stopped and I had a little talk with my cat, its name was killer by the way, it had that name when I got it. So I talked to the old girl and explained the situation and how I really needed her to come through for me this time, I gave her a little rub and turned it over again. Slowly ever so slowly it began to fire one Cylinder at a time was catching and I could feel it fighting to come alive. And then almost like a miracle it was alive and breathing on its own and it was warming up. You can say what you want about me making it sound alive and having a personality but me and the old girl we had many adventures and she never let me down. I looked after her and she looked after me and we survived together. We both have our scars and marks but I know she will do anything I ask of her and she knows I will do anything she asks of me, Did I tell you that old girl and me we spent 4 hours plowing a road out of that pit, she never missed a beat and neither did I, we both froze our asses off because we were both out in the winter. She didn't have a cab. Probably the funniest thing, is how much I miss those days, back when I knew everything.

back when I was invincible


Okay there's no point denying it I was in a bad place Friday, but then we all have those days don't we. But if any of you were worried I don't do self destruction. If I did something at all I would just back door it out of my life and restart over as someone else.

LOL would be darn difficult though because of all the computers and the damn security

anyways still here


Friday, February 24, 2006

Have you ever wanted to disappear

I have

have you ever wished you hadn't existed

I do

have you thought your family would be better with out you

I have

and I know that the answer is yes they would have been

no one would miss me very long

niece and nephew maybe for awhile

but they are young things are soon forgotten

maybe its time I am forgotten

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Okay Here Are The Results of today's Wee Quiz

The gold medal goes to..........KRIS

That's right I hate to scare you but the little blonde haired kid in the red sports coat(sewn by my grandma) is none other than me.

Scary isn't it how someone so cute could morph into a giant ugly like me lol

Kris however doesn't have a blog so I have no idea whom she might be

Thanks everyone for playing and those out there with cute kids of their own , don't worry not all of us grew into uglies.lmao

sleep well, love hard, die an ignominious death


razors back

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


So here is my post for way back Wednesdays but its not just a post its a quiz. This is my kindergarten class of 1974 and the quiz is....Which one am I???? Thirty lashes with a premoistened noodle for all those that are wrong, 40 lashes for the one who is correct!

And no shots at the hair and clothing I was only 5 and it was the seventies!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The wee Irish chick and I have changed our relationship a little bit over the last few days, just wish I knew to what. I can't act all jealous and idiotic about her anymore and its working great. I stop myself when I start getting wound up and jealous about her time and now I find talking to her is lighter and easier. I can't claim that I don't get jealous but instead of getting all wound up in it and making myself nuts, I just back off. From my perspective it means things have been far more pleasant, wish I knew how she was feeling about it but for now I will just enjoy.

funny how I never noticed how my own attitudes reflected on the state of affairs, hope I remember this lesson when the time is appropriate.

and make sure you install the virus lol

Friday, February 17, 2006

I think I figured out why my blog sucks.

My life has'nt been particularily difficult or interesting.
my parents are still married and so are my brother and sister

I do not have any kids but I have a great niece and nephew who I see all the time

I work long hours but my job is interesting and challenging

The reason my blog sucks is because my life does'nt, I am not rich but I have never been poor. I have never really been hurt or sick. I have never been married so I have never been divorced. I dont have children, basically i have the worlds most boring life. lol I am more whitebread than a double loaf of wonderbread.

Ah well I will keep blogging anyways so any of you dont like it too bad quit reading lmao
Birthdate:September the 8th, 1968
Birthplace:Redvers Saskatchewan
Current Location:Manitoba
Eye Color:Blue
Hair Color:Dark / Grey
Height:6 foot 6 inch
Weight:400 pounds
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:do not know
Overused Phraze:Let's get the fuck out of dodge
Alcohol Drink:beer
Bagel:no thank you i would rather eat a hockey puck
Body Part on Opposite sex:Mind
This or That
Pepsi or Coke:Coke , there is nothing finer
McDonalds or BurgerKing:Bugger King
Strawberry or Watermelon:ewwwwww
Hot tea or Ice tea:iced
Chocolate or Vanillachocolate
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:Coffeeeeeeee
Kiss or Hug:both
Dog or Cat:cat
Rap or Punk:punk rap
Summer or Winter:summer
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:funny movies
Love or Money:love
Most Missed Memory:freedom to do nothing all day
Best phyiscal feature:eyes
First Thought Waking Up:is it time to wake up
Goal for this year:make it till next year
Best Friends:none
Weakness:sob stories
Fears:heights - funny how many tall people have this
Longest relationship:2 years
Ever Drank:yes
Ever Smoked:only when completely drunk
Ever been Drunk:oh yeah / have the scars to prove it
Ever been beaten up:no
Ever beaten someone up:no
Ever Shoplifted:yes, the 7-11 was having a real gum shortage lol
Ever Skinny Dipped:yes
Ever Kissed Opposite sex:yes
Been Dumped Lately:yes
Favorite Eye Color:blue
Favorite Hair Color:brown
Short or Long:long
Height:no preferance
Style:business casual
Looks or Personality:personality
Hot or Cutesmart
Drugs and Alcohol:alcohol
Muscular or Really Skinny:no preferance
Number of Regrets in the Past:some not many life is too short for regrets
What country do you want to Visit:Ireland
How do you want to Die:Quickly
Been to the Mall Lately:no i am opposed to shopping
Do you like Thunderstorms:yes
Get along with your Parents:mostly
Health Freak:lol you must be kidding
Do you think your Attractive:no
Believe in Yourself:yes
Want to go to College:nope never did now too old
Do you Smoke:no
Do you Drink:yes too much
Shower Daily:lol no you can smell me coming for miles.....yes of course
Been in Love:yes
Do you Sing:yes but i cant remember lyrics so i make up my own
Want to get Married:yes
Do you want Children:did now getting kind of old so not especially
Have your future kids names planned out:no
Age you wanna lose your Virginity:that ship sailed
Hate anyone:yes 2 people


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

This is very likely the last post I will ever make about the Irish chick

this is it folks anything that happens past this point will probably be too personal to share with you my fine feathered friends and I am only making this one to answer some questions and hopefully give you some closure.

the Irish chick is going offline for strictly financial reasons, she has had a change in employment conditions and so needs to save her money to better take care of her children. Commendable and respectable reasons I think and certainly I can not and will not fault her for placing her children first. Yes I have offered to pay for the connection but she is way to proud and stubborn to accept that, and you wonder why I love her.

as for the kicking but. Its my issues not hers that prevent the but kicking, I need to know she is with me entirely by choice. I wont in any way force or beg her to be with me, either she chooses to be with me or she doesn't. I will not have her any way but by her own free will

things are coming to a head and she will either be mine or not

A message to the Irish chick: No matter what happens, you are still the best thing to ever happen to me and I have absolutely no regrets about us
razors back

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Monday, February 13, 2006

What it means to be Canadian!

What it means to be Canadian is to fiercely proud of your country and patriotic as anyone

But quietly patriotic.

But it also means you have to be able to laugh at yourselves

But the most important thing about being a Canadian is the ability to criticize your self and Canada

Right now the Canadian women's hockey team is being criticized for beating their opponents so badly that people find it unnecessary and embarrassing. The people criticizing the Canadians ARE the Canadians we do not really find it necessary to beat the Italian women's hockey team 16 to 0. But the Olympic rules make it necessary for the team to score all the goals it can, even to the point of embarrassing their opponents.

No one criticizes Canadians more than Canadians, its what keeps us tough, honest and the greatest nation in the world.

Just wait till me have time to deal with the neighbours

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Hello everybody

Hi Dr. Nick

Okay now that the silliness has been gotten out of the way maybe I can drag this blog out of the cold and get it running again

This ones not about the Irish chick, well not directly anyways.

This is about Sean the dominant asshole, I locked him in a closet about 2 years ago. He can dominate an entire room through sheer foce of will, he always gets his way and he's never wrong. He's the reason I have attained the position of alpha male at work, he's the one who's opinion is sought and trusted, he is the definition of large and in charge. I like him a lot. Please do not think I am the height of pretension referring to myself in the third person, I refer to myself in the third person because I can turn off Sean the asshole off and on at will. It is a part of me but its not the only part of me.

I locked him in a closet in my mind, I did it for the Irish chick but she never knew. It was my way of backing out of the company showing weakness hoping that the next alpha male would see the weakness and try for the throne. Little knowing that was exactly what I wanted, I wanted to find my replacement before I left to be with the Irish chick. I hoped it was my brother, keep it in the family so to speak, but no one ever stepped forward to offer the slightest challenge.

now you are probably asking what this self absorbed interminable diatribe is about.

well the company has hit a crisis point, a leadership crisis and I have to unlock the asshole within. Normal this wouldn't be so bad except this happened the same week I found out that the Irish chick is going offline. The limited time we have left to talk will be spent with me not being readily available, sucks to be me. LOL the worst thing is that women are supposed to like confident men and she wont even be here to see it. Ah well if I am losing her anyways I might as well dig the son of a bitch up and put him to work.

I hope the boys at work are prepared for this because its going to get ugly

and if the Irish chick is reading this before I get a chance to talk to you, I am sorry but its better you atleast know then think I have slunk off somewhere to hide. Though you know I do not hide. I am more likely to attack a problem than I ever am to run away from it

love you

razors back

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

An Open Letter to the Irish Chick

I love you, I always will.

You have made my life so much better that it is impossible for me to really say how much. All my life I existed but I did not live until the day I met you. you opened my eyes as you opened my heart, you showed me what I had been missing and you filled my life with love. I know now what it is to live and love and to love life.

I know too the pain of loss, the loss of you , the loss of what we had and worst of all the loss of what we made with our love. But to love you must accept the possibility of loss or pain and I did and I will.

You think that you are bad for me because you bring pain into my life, my life always had pain, what you brought was joy. The thrill of your soft throaty voice on the end of a phone line. The joy of a message waiting when I awoke. The joy of a face to see when I opened my eyes. The quiet conversations about nothing that really said nothing and meant everything.

We brought some pain into each others lives but for me the joy you bring far out weighs the pain.

You have after all taught me what it is to love and be loved.

You may not come and talk to me again, that is you perogative, I will never force you to do anything you do not want to. But I will never just forget you and move on with my life and I will always be here for you

you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me and you always will be

Love Sean

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Okay I stole this from someone apologies to whoever it was for not properly crediting. Though it is entirely too accurate for my tastes, I think they have cameras planted in my house so keep your eyes open.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results













Work ethic

Self absorbed

Conflict seeking

Need to dominate






Change averse




Peter pan complex

Physical security

Physical fitness





Female cliche

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.

trait snapshot:
messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self reliant, leisurely, dangerous, anti-authority, trusting, optimistic, positive, thrill seeker, likes bizarre things, sarcastic

Anywho I don't know what to blog right now, work bores me, the irish chick confuses me and there isn't a whole lot else in my life. Sad really

Monday, February 06, 2006

Here are 2 more pictures of giants causeway and the ruins of a castle. Most castles have fallen into ruins due to the extraordinary cost of maintaining them. Most of the people with titles and castles have very little money and simply can not or will not afford their maintenance

The Legend of Finn McCool

Finn McCool was an Irish giant who lived on the shores of the emerald Isle. Finn being a Hale and hearty individual was in the habit of exchanging insults with the Scottish giant who's name eludes me at the moment. Any way almost everyday the two giants stood on their respective shores and shouted insults at one another across the sea. Finn always had a great time and being a giant of action one day he decided it would be great fun to fight the Scottish giant.

Being too big for the ships of the time Finn new he would have to build a bridge or cause way all the way to Scotland so that he could cross over and fight with him. Early one day Finn started and he laboured long through the day reaching Scotland just before nightfall, Finn decided to return home and get a good nights sleep so as to be rested for the fight.

The next morning Finn set out to meet and fight the Scottish giant, Finn crossed over without incident and set about finding his opponent. He could hear a great racket coming from a nearby Forrest and correctly figured that this would be the Scottish giant. He came to a clearing in the forest and there standing with his back to Finn was the Scottish giant. But this was no ordinary giant he was easily twice as big as Finn McCool and could chop down a dozen trees with each swing of his axe.

Finn wisely decided to not fight this giant and lest he be discovered he ran back to Ireland on the cause way he had built. Now as well could be imagined a giant running raises quite a racket and this brought the attention of the Scottish who immediately began to follow Finn.

Finn reached Ireland and upon finding his wife told her of what he had seen and his belief the Scottish giant was even now on his way to fight with Finn. His wife took inspiration and told him to crawl into the baby's crib and to not make a sound no matter what he heard. Finn did as was instructed and his wife went back outside to tend her large vegetable garden. Soon enough the Scottish giant came into Mrs. McCools garden and asked after poor Finn. Mrs. McCool told him that her husband was away but as long as he had come that far he might as well come in and see the bairn in his crib. Being a sociable fellow the giant agreed and the went into the house and Mrs McCool showed the Scottish giant Finn pretending to be asleep in the crib. The Scottish giant took one look at the wee baby and began to grow scared, if the baby was this big then how big must his father be. The Scottish giant retreated back to Scotland tearing up the cause way as he went, leaving no evidence of its existence except for the pile of bricks on the shore of Ireland.

That's the legend of the giants causeway

This is the View from the headland at the Giant's Causeway, Port Rush, County Antrim, Northern Ireland.

One of the few touristy type spots in Northern Ireland as they do not have a well developed tourism industry as yet, but as soon as people can be sure they will not get involved in sectarian violence then I am sure it will be developed. The giants causeway is located in the centre of the picture and is only accessible by foot or by seasonal bus. It is approximately a 2 mile walk down to a natural rock formation that appears to be well fitted bricks. It is the legend that goes with these rocks that makes it interesting and hopefully I can get more images to load and show you them

Note: if I were you I would go in June as July and August can be politically turbulent there, but if you ever want to see a riot help yourself

Sunday, February 05, 2006

how many hours have I spent laying awake dreaming of you? Too many to count
how many of my dreams have you filled? All of them

I remember pulling you in close for a deep deep hug, full of meaning and promise but careful not to squeeze too hard. I kiss you on the cheek slowly working up to when I can kiss you on the lips. I begin slowly kissing you on the mouth, having you break the kiss and lean your head against mine giggling, we always shared that laugh, and you ran your hands through my almost non existent hair

I always seem to know how to make you respond and you could always make me respond. I had wanted you for a year and when we finally shared our passions it was better than I could have ever imagined. You were a fantastic lover and you took me places I never could have imagined. And I loved nothing better than lying there holding you talking and being together.

you are beautiful.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Welcome to my life, come in set a spell and take your shoes off

yes Chris the Irish chick and I talk almost everyday. We still love each other but she does not feel she deserves to be happy and that I do so she wont be with me. If she could just allow herself to be free and smile, we maybe could be together. She refuses to accept that she does make me happy and that I love her completely. She thinks I want to change her, I don't. She thinks she has to act the way I want, she doesn't. All I want from her is love and understanding and I will return it in spades, have returned it in spades.

But maybe one day if she finds the strength and courage we can be together

She is the only woman I have ever loved

razors back