okay an update

lets start with the easy bit, work. I just worked my 35th day in a row including some heavy physical labour. I am worn through to the nub and I need a vacation in the worst way but I have a bit to wait. Work is in fact great I have increased profit 1000% over 3 years ago and providing the idiots pay I have set the company onto easy street.

There is only one other thing in my life, and that as Chris knows, is the Irish chick. I wish I could tell you what is going on there. The wee Irish chick, well we still talk but its just as friends. I still want her, I still desire her, but I have come to understand she will never be mine. Sooo I am her friend, neither of us really understands what lays between us but I know I can not be what she wants me to be and she can never do what I want her to. I guess we are star crossed lovers destined never to be.

Sounds vaguely fatalistic of me huh

I wish I could explain it better, I have mentally closed the door between her and I but i will always wonder where I went wrong. What could I have done to make it right. I have done right by my own morals and codes but it doesnt feel right.

Luckily being a fatalist I dont believe I have many days left to rue my decision.